AI Writing Is Such a Bummer
But what's worse is that no one seems to care.
I love a bad wedding speech. It’s truly one of my favorite performances to witness. It’s become like my Pokémon cards. I love catching all the different levels of awkwardness, unpreparedness, bad jokes, and directionless stories. I love the struggling on a cell phone (you guys, just write down and print it omg), the callbacks to stories that no one knows. The “you thought the bride or groom was cool, but actually here’s a really dark story about them haha anyway Mazel Tov!” I love it all.
Recently, I saw my first wedding speech clearly written by AI. The speaker was college-aged with dyed hair—you know, brimming with rizz. But, the speech didn’t match. It wasn’t awkward at all, but it wasn’t evocative either. It was very passable. Because that’s the level of AI writing right now: not bad, not good. Very C average.
The speech had no shortage of old popsicle stick jokes and phrases pulled straight from wedding Hallmark cards, punctuated every so often with the couple’s names. The guy repeated the couple's names so many times that I wondered if he thought we forgot who they were. It ended with a very flat: “Let’s raise a glass: I’m wishing you both a lifetime of happiness, joy, and love.” This was a young person who was related to the groom. And there was no reference ever made to that. If you would have read the speech, you would have thought they had perhaps met walking to the venue. But no, the speaker had known the groom his entire life.
I turned to my husband and whispered “Oh my god, that was AI!” But everyone laughed at the popsicle stick jokes and clapped. We never heard anyone else speak about the speech. No one gathered by the bar later to laugh at his attempt to hide his laziness. Because no one really noticed or cared.
Selfishly, I would have loved something embarrassing. I also would have loved something heartfelt. I would have just liked something real. I was outraged that this 20-something didn’t deliver on something that is a wedding rite of passage: the art of cringe. But, I was also outraged that he delivered a very obviously computer-generated speech, and he got full credit for sincerity.
I have been writing since I can remember. I would open Microsoft Word and write short stories, then print them out and illustrate them before I even started first grade. I majored in creative writing. Every job I’ve gotten in 17 years of working is because I’m a writer, even if the job didn’t even require that much writing. The art of persuasive writing and a varied portfolio has landed me a lot of opportunities.
Seeing the rise of AI writing is hard not only for the fear it might take my job, but for the fear that my job was never really that crucial to begin with. Because writing is one of the few “art forms” that everyone has their turn at, I thought it was especially obvious when someone was skilled at it. What I’m realizing is that may be true to some, but most people just look at writing as a task. And if that task can be outsourced: great! And even if AI is not as good as something real, it’s better because it’s faster and therefore, earns more revenue.
There is such a stark difference between someone saying they don’t like your writing and someone with power telling you that your writing “won’t sell.” One is a matter of taste, and the other is a matter of livelihood. Personally, I value the former’s opinion more, but the latter dictates whether I pay rent, so I listen to that, even if it means changing my work to reflect something I don’t wholeheartedly agree with. This is the dance I’m used to doing as a writer who has chosen to make money using my passion. What I’m not ready for is the idea that AI will replace art altogether. When workers in creative fields are already having to prove that human-told stories are better than robot-told ones, I get worried. Do people actually want good writing, or notice it? It feels so defeating sometimes. Writer, so confusing. (Could a robot make that golden joke? I don’t think so!)
I want to be on the write side (again, wow, the finesse), but every time I log into a website and it says it’s “AI-enhanced,” it feels like an uphill battle. Mostly because when a website says it’s AI-enhanced, it means it will not be able to do anything I need it to do except redirect me to other pages on the website. And I can’t help but wonder (again, another banger pop culture reference a robot couldn’t make) do people actually think AI writing is good?! Did I waste time honing a skill and admiring something people are willing to throw out at the first sign of innovation? And if so: will anyone buy my lil stuff? Am I doomed?! At this point in AI’s development, it’s less sad that I’m losing the fight to a robot, and more sad that the robot isn’t even good at the job. It’s even sadder that maybe no one will notice when the fight is lost.
I can’t stop writing because I have no other real skills. This is proven by how I recently had to ask where Vienna was. I also will never stop loving good writing because it has saved my life again and again. I have so many bookmarks on my phone of good writing I can reflect on when I’m depressed. Maybe it was a defect on my part to put all my money-earning eggs (should I sell my eggs?!) in the writing basket. The only real thing that keeps me going is believing that I’m not the only person yearning for something real.
This was edited by AI.
lol imagine. It was expertly edited by
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