Hot Frosty is Anti-Cop and Pro-Hot DumDum
Hot Frosty 2028?!
For those who are being hard on Hot Frosty, may I remind you: these movies are not real movies. They are not to be judged on plot, writing, acting or structure. They are pass/fail. They are drinks on an airplane. They either make you laugh and it’s erased from your brain the next morning, or they are very boring and never entered your brain to begin with.
THE PLOT: Lacey Chabert is a Small Town™ baker whose husband died from cancer, which has left her…frosty…toward the idea of love, until she puts her magical scarf around a snowman with abs and cum gutters (sorry but that’s what Merriam-Webster calls them!) and brings him to life. He’s not perfect, but he’s hot. He teaches her how to love again and unites the town.
THE REASON: I realize it’s really seeming like Jake and I are a repressed couple looking for sensuality in repressed holiday movies, but I swear that it’s more “it looked fun!” And not, “it looked sexy and we need that!” That being said, this is much sexier than A Cowboy Christmas Romance, the so-called sexiest Lifetime holiday movie of all-time. They kiss twice! And many older woman imply they want to bang Hot Frosty!
IS HOT FROSTY HOT THO: I’ve been a fan of Dustin Milligan since he was Ted on Schitt’s Creek. He’s a babe! He somehow has 40-year-old face with 25-year-old bod. It works, but he does look better with a stache.
BEST DIALOGUE: Old Woman at the Store gives Lacey Chabert the magic scarf that moments later brings Hot Frosty to life. When Old Woman at the Store gives it to her, she says “Good things come to you when you’re out in the cold.”
This has never proven true for me.
Things that have happened while I’ve been out in the cold (a short list):
My car could not make it through the snow
The guy I was with did not know how to get the car to move because that is not the type of man I am into
We made out
We agreed to not make out again
We left the car, walked home and got it in the morning
“BEST” PARTS: This movie reminded me a lot of George and the Jungle when Leslie Mann brings George (Brendan Fraser) back home and is like “You’re hot, but you can’t leave the house. Just watch TV and learn how to be a dude.” And then the things he picks up is like “need to wear clothes to succeed in this village.”
This is also what Hot Frosty learns, but he gets clothes by breaking into a store. Craig Robinson plays a cop and is like “I need to arrest the person who broke into a store! That is crime! And I am hard on crime!” But the townspeople are all like “IDK looks like the criminal is hot, so give him a break?”
Basically, the townspeople rally against Craig Robinson the Cop because Hot Frosty fixes people’s appliances and roofs and that’s more than cops have ever done for the community.
Another great moment is the font choice they used to show the doctor’s notes from when Lacey Chabert’s husband was dying:
I also loved just how dopey Hot Frosty was. Lacey Chabert takes him home and he’s just like “Nice! I love you!” and she’s like, “you don’t know what love is.” And he goes “Right, okay. I bought you this necklace because I love you!” And even though he bought it using her card and he said I love you again, she relents. Because he’s hot and she loves jewelry.
“IT WASN’T IN THE BUDGET” MOMENTS:
Also Craig Robinson the Cop uses a flip phone.
FUN FACT: Chrishell from Selling Sunset is here!
WOULD I REWATCH THIS? Yes! It’s fun, easy and pretty funny for a not real movie. Treat yourself and put it on tonight. Just don’t get too hot (as Hot Frosty will die).