I Guess This is What Democracy Looks Like?
Returning to my political roots
I hate thinking about how much more politically active I was as an 18-year-old than I am now. Back then, I skipped class to see Barack Obama do a campaign speech in a Reno park. Obama was the first president I could vote for, and I rallied hard. I canvassed door to door. I went to every appearance he did in Reno. I was constantly trying to sway my non-politically motivated friends to register to vote.
Even before I was 18, I was going to political rallies. I went to a John Kerry rally when I was 14! Do you know how boring that was?! But, I was really motivated. I specifically remember going to see Bill Clinton speak with the same excitement I had to see Against Me! that year. He even gave out shirts that said “This is what a healthcare voter looks like.” I kept it for years until it got irreparably damaged by hair dye. Healthcare voters don’t always read directions thoroughly.
Since 2016 though, our political landscape has changed so dramatically. And with it, I’ve become skeptical and hardened. Like many people, I was devastated and blindsided by Trump’s win in 2016 (partly because I was doing standup the night it happened and spent the night group crying with Mountain View Mike’s patrons). I think seeing something so terrible happen and watching so much horror come from this left me a little hopeless. If this is what the majority of our country wants, where do I even start to repair it?
By the time 2020 rolled around, I still voted in national and local elections, but that dogged pursuit of victory I had in my teens and early 20s was gone. Aside from a brief day of canvassing for Katie Hill, I basically just read the news, lamented and sent $20 to Planned Parenthood every so often.
I recently watched Night of the Living Dead (stay with me, here). At the beginning of the movie, there’s a woman who is traumatized because the zombies have killed her brother. She runs into an abandoned house and a guy comes in and is like “We gotta board up the house to protect ourselves from the zombies.” She doesn’t say anything. And he’s like “Babe, hello?” Then she suddenly breaks her silence and is like “My brother was killed. I’m scared. I don’t know what’s going on.” And the guy is like “Yeah, that’s why I’m trying to board up this house.” And she just sits there rubbing a knife maniacally but never doing anything. Spoiler: her brother—who was turned into a zombie—kills her. She doesn’t even defend herself. She’s too deeply in shock.
I realized that I was kind of becoming the woman and I needed to start boarding up the house.
So, baby, I’m back.
Sort of.
I did phone bank for Kamala Harris. I specifically called undecided voters in North Carolina. Undecided voters are such an interesting group. I almost think they do it for mystique. Like, “Wowowoow look at me! I don’t know who I’m voting for in the presidential election. Imagine all the other wild things I do day to day! I probably eat a full box of lemons while riding a tractor!”
Another thing about undecided voters: they intimidate the shit out of me. They’re not looking for any answers I have, politically speaking or otherwise. Phone banking in general made me think I might not even know who Kamala Harris is.
I should back up and point out something else: UNDECIDED VOTERS CONSTANTLY ANSWER THE PHONE. See? They’re wild. They answer the phone from an unknown number totally ready to have a conversation with anyone. They often don’t hang up after the call either, so you can hear them talk shit about your voice!
I was grilled about Harris’s plans to leave Israel, her “secrets,” and “things I should tell her next time I see her.” All of it caused me to do a lot of “Ed Rooney’s secretary imitates Ed Rooney” from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. On the plus side, I did quickly Google a lot about her stance on Israel while on the phone, and that conversation ended with my undecided guy going “Yeah, okay. I guess I’ll vote for her.” SUCCESS!
I also phone banked to re-elect Senator Jacky Rosen in Nevada. Unlike the North Carolina bank that was in the evening, this was in the middle of the day, so basically no one answered. But with this phone bank they gave you script for the voicemail, and I nailed every call perfectly:
I’m not fully back, but I’m politically re-emerging. I voted. I put up a board. Hope you can do the same and we keep the zombies away for four more years.
If you live in LA, here’s a spreadsheet with Progressive Left Voter Guides At-A-Glance.
Speaking of being hit up every two minutes to donate:
Subject line: [Name], I quit.
I just quit my job! This means I’ll be doing more creative work (including more of this Substack!) and would deeply appreciate your support in doing so. If you can, become a paying subscriber and expect more content to come your way.
MUSIC
I went to When We Were Young Fest (aka my personal Burning Man) and CARR was the first band we saw. I’d never heard them before and I was very pumped after seeing their set. They really set the tone for a great day. I love everything I’ve heard, but Carrtoons is one of my faves.
Other songs on repeat:
One more thing!
I performed at So Say We All’s VAMP showcase a few weeks back. I did a story about how being hairy brought me closer to my mom, who passed away four years ago. SSWA helped take this post I shared earlier this year and make it into something I’m really proud of. You can watch it here: