NEW SERIES: Why Is This So Funny?
WHAT? A NEW SERIES? WAS THERE EVER AN OLD SERIES?
Say hello to Why Is This So Funny? a new series that I might rename later.
In this (probably very sporadic) series release, I’ll tell you why something that was not supposed to be funny is one of the funniest things I’ve ever encountered.
This week: WHAT IT ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE TO DIE ☠️
Despite the uninviting title, this is a video I have saved on multiple notes in my Notes App and in my favorite TikTok videos because, truly, nothing compares. For some context, The Blondie Boys break down “how things actually work” (a literal series of videos) on their TikTok page, which spans from how electric scrubbers scrub to the truth behind Moana to…how it feels like to die.
Why is this so funny? Everything this child is saying for the most part, is, like, scary and depressing. That’s honestly why it‘s so funny. Because he’s talking about something so morbid, and does it like a person describing how he set the frogs in anatomy class free while playing Reel Big Fish. He is describing a feeling he has definitively never had with so much confidence and instructive hand gestures.
This cadence has become so familiar for TikTok instructional videos that I’d expect it from a “how to fix your Toyota Yaris stereo” video, but instead, this young man is telling me how I’ll feel right before it’s all over. It’s hilarious.
By the way, this guy has gotten dinged in the comments for this not being an original script, and to that I say: he knew he could do it better. Let the king go off.
My favorite part—by far—starts at :11. This is the only part where I really tune into the script: “As you become too weak to breathe, you’ll start hearing a strange noise in the back of your throat. This is known as the death rattle, and when that happens: buckle up.”
Buckle up?! To go where? I’m already dying, sir! I’m on the fucking way out. Buckle up to go to death? I will not need that type of security where I’m going!!
God, that part gets me every time. He is really acting like he’s trying to pass on a warning here for a moment none of us are truly conscious of, let alone reflecting on if there were any TikTok videos that had instructions for this moment. But, IDK, I guess if it helps you to buckle up on the way out, you do you.
For my own personal death moment, will this video be the last thing I think of? Honestly, maybe?! But thanks to this video, I’ll know to “follow the light to the tunnel and DIEEEEE!”
Thanks to Mark Shrayber for sending me that video in the heat of 2020. It somehow helped so much. Humor is everywhere, kids, even in death.
Speaking of Mark, he has a Substack now! He is so funny, a great writer, and used to write for Jezebel when it was good! You should subscribe!
SUBSTACK EDITION!
Here are more Substacks I’ve enjoyed reading recently!
AwkwardSD - The whole Teaching Journal series
Ryan is a friend of mine whose writing I consistently look forward to and enjoy. Though his posts are usually wholly hilarious, like this one on going to an avocado festival that was severely lacking in avocados, his recent series on being laid off after his first year of full-time teaching has been heartbreaking, yet underscores why teachers like him choose this profession when the odds are stacked against them. Ryan weaves sincerity with hilarity so effortlessly that nothing is ever an all-out bummer or a farce. It’s just such a pleasure to read and I can’t recommend it enough!
Hung Up by Hunter Harris - We’ll Always Have Chance The Rapper’s Post About His Wife Decorating Their Patio
Hunter Harris is one of the best pop culture writers we have right now. Her takes are so spot-on and she manages to cover such a wide array of both huge pop culture phenoms like Succession while hitting on small little gems like revisiting how Chance the Rapper described his wife decorating their patio. Read this post if only to see how incongruous this description is with the patio in question: “EEEEEEEEE My Wife just went crazy and redid the balcony! LOOK AT THAT TURF LOOK AT THEM MF COUCHES LOOK AT THAT PLANT SHE THE GREATEST 😍😍😍”
Embedded - Learning English one TikTok at a time
Kate Lindsay digs into the corners of the internet to find you the best things you’ll probably never find elsewhere. I loved this piece because it highlights what I think is so cool about TikTok in that it can teach you pretty much anything, even how to be vulnerable. This post follows Mary Gomes, a TikTok user who’s learning English and posting her journey into fluency. She asks followers questions about her pronunciation and cultural norms. It’s incredibly inspiring, and proof that TikTok’s only lesson isn’t how to die.