On Bar Culture

Drinking culture can fade, but I hope bars stay.

On TikTok, I constantly see that Gen Z is “done with alcohol,” and that they’re overall less interested in drinking than the generations before. I can’t get mad at it. Truly, more power to them. Drinking is not a flawless way to spend time. I have a complicated relationship with alcohol, and tbh, so do a lot of people in my life. If anyone wants to drink less, I get it.

If alcohol consumption does drastically diminish, there is one thing I hope Gen Z finds a way to preserve, or recreate in some way. The thing I don’t have a complicated relationship with: bars.

I love bars. I have favorites and ones I don’t really like. But, the idea? The concept? It’s one of my favorite things about being alive. I’m in a bar as I write this. And it’s the best.

I didn’t have a choice about loving bars, because I was Born In a Bar (it’s capitalized because I want to see how it looks as a memoir title. Does it look good!?) I was not technically born in one, but my parents owned one when I was born, so I spent a lot of time in a bar from a very young age. I was there while my dad did the books before the bar opened. I ate maraschino cherries, and got my first free drinks (Shirley Temples). Cherries and free drinks are still some of my favorite things.

Because it was probably one of the first senses I ever identified, I also love the smell of a bar. The alcohol. The cleaning solution. The rubber mats. Babe, I told you: I’m down bad. To this day, the smell of a bar is so comforting.

I grew up in and around bars, thus was predestined to look past the grime and bathrooms that also come with, but I also love what a bar represents. There are few other places tailored for you to be less than your best. Fuck movie theaters: heartbreak feels good in a bar. There’s a sort of social lawlessness to bars I like. If you’re crying over an ex, you’re as at home as the person celebrating a birthday. It’s all permitted and encouraged. In a world full of Zoom calls where we can literally blur everything we don’t want people to see, bars encourage you to be as genuine as you want, so long as you’re cool with everyone else doing the same. Every bar, no matter how disgusting, has stories of people at their most bare, metaphorically and physically.

Some bar in Reno where Jake had to wear my cardigan to fit the “dress code.”

Not to sound like a husband who wouldn’t go home to his wife in 80s sitcoms, but bar families are also quite nice. When I was doing standup a lot, I got to know the regulars and bartenders at the bars I performed at. Every show at my favorite bars was like a little homecoming where I got to shoot the shit and feel utterly comfortable, because the context in which these people met me was when I was most myself. Just doing something I love, drinking stuff I like and not having to do much else.

One of my fave bars, PianoFight, is closing, and I am really sad to see it go. Since it was a theater space, I not only drank in the bar, but did a ton of shows in the theaters, several of which I produced. I also met Jake there, and we spent so many nights there. PianoFight was such a formative space for me. I can’t say all of my favorite bars made me a better person, but PF definitely did. If you’re in SF on March 15th, you can come see Jake, me and some other great people send it off with a banger storytelling show.

My mom came to a few shows with us at PianoFight, and she seriously said “You guys should get married here.” It was such a rewarding experience to bring my mom, Mrs. Former Bar Owner herself, to PianoFight. I told the bartender from one of my closest bar families to “hook her up! She’s my mom!” and he more than delivered. I have never been famous, nor do I truly think I want to be, but it’s nice to feel like I am for fleeting moments in a bar. The big greeting when you walk in, the free drinks, the friends you make in the bathroom. Being at home in a bar can feel like you’re mayor of a small, very out of line city. It’s a nice lil reprieve from the world.

I get that so much of the freedom bars offer has to do with alcohol and what it does. But I don’t know, maybe Gen Z can come up with something that encourages you to be authentic without hurting yourself or anyone else. Or maybe bars will always prevail because you can’t be vulnerable without consequence, I guess. What was it that great philosopher said? “You don't get to 500 million friends without making a few enemies.”

Whatever they come up with, I hope it has more booths than stools, working locks on the bathrooms, room to dance, isn’t too pricy, has good food, and they don’t care if I cry or get a lil loud.

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Pour several out for all of my fallen favorite bars, but I still have a few. If you need Reno, Bay Area or LA recs, hit me up. Here are my top 3:

LA
Verdugo
Bigfoot Lodge
Tabula Rasa

Bay Area
Blondie’s (SF)
Eli’s Mile High Club (Oakland)
Penelope (Oakland)

Reno
Public House
The Z Bar
Chapel

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Stuff I’m v into this week:

My dad was in town for the past week, so I truly have just been patronizing bars and eating rich food. I was more than prepared to write this post.

I did rediscover Old 45’s by Chromeo (remember them?!) and fuck, that song still slaps. Great bar dancing song. I guess Chromeo has a new song, but idk. Doesn’t hit like the old stuff. Gen Z? Can you fix this, too?