Summer Showdown
I rank every show I saw this summer and how they reminded me of my own mortality.
This recap is a bit delayed, but my summer was a bit awful, so it’s better late than never for this lil post.
I have to say, all of these shows made me feel a little…worse for wear? Idk. I don’t want to say “old” because I feel like every 30-something says they feel old all of the time and it’s mostly just wanting to go to bed at a decent time or wear comfortable shoes. But I truly did not know back pain until this summer.
I think what I noticed is just how big of an ordeal going to concerts is, and how I felt every. Step. Which is why I included how long it took me to get to a Lyft post-show, despite my husband telling me that was a very old person thing to include. But, babe, I felt it in my literal bones as the kids say (or they did at one time, and now I’m catching on much later). So, enjoy this wrap up of a 33-year-old attending shows, both inspiring and disappointing. And yes, I have a lot to say about the Eras Tour.
Without further adieu, here’s all the shows I say this summer in the order I saw them:
Mariah Carey
LA Pride
She was not giving. She did not eat. She left lots of crumbs. She was not doing the dance.
I love Mariah so much. I saw her residency in Vegas in 2020 (feels cursed to write that year. It’s like when any other event happens on 9/11), and I loved it. I have a shrine in my bathroom to Mariah. I walked down the aisle to Always Be My Baby. And yet, true love is being able to recognize when your beloved was not her best.
She was late, she was drunk, and she barely sang at all. She did a few medleys up top, then played 10 or so Tik Tok videos using her song It’s a Wrap. She gave a very half-hearted shoutout to the queer community. She had a bunch of men on stilts for some reason. It was a mess. My friend, Mark, and I openly laughed and openly left early—along with many others. I think you know you are close with someone when you can look at them long before a performance ends and go “we’re done here, right?” and have them agree with you. A true bond.
Highlights: King Princess opened for her and did a really good show. Unfortunately, King Princess felt the crowd didn’t like the show and was sad. She was mad at us. :(
Lowlights: V cold. Also, no good beer, so I was extremely sober and aware of Mariah’s bad performance.
Oldest I Felt: I found myself very worried for the people only in jockstraps. Brr, baby! You must’ve been so cold!
How Far I Walked to Get a Lyft Post-Show: Maybe .5 miles? Honestly, not bad.
Rank: 3/10
New Found Glory / Bring Me the Horizon / Fall Out Boy
BMO Stadium - LA
My most emo friend, Kyle, asked me to go to this show and I was very stoked. None of my other friends like emo music, and Fall Out Boy was on my emo bucket list, so it sounded good in theory.
Did I mention it was Kyle’s birthday? And I met him in Reno?
All to say we majorly pregamed the show, and honestly, I’m not really sure how else I would have done it? Have you tried doing a three band show sober recently? You really get to feel the ins and outs of your core strength, mostly the outs. Drinking makes you feel like you have stamina and a purpose, which is incorrect, but it’s the thought that counts.
Highlights: Nothing like hearing emotional songs from your high school years and literally jumping up and down to scream them. There is a really nice catharsis to seeing bands from your youth and giving them a bit of a nod for getting you through those hard times. Also, as old as I’ve felt, I’ve never looked as old as anyone from an emo band in 2023, and that was an ego boost.
Lowlights: The staging was set up weird. The closer you were to the left side of the stadium, the better view you had, but if you were center or right, you really had to crane your neck. We ended up just going up to a balcony in front of the concessions and watching the show.
Oldest I Felt: I fell down during the show while dancing and got a big bruise :(
How Far I Walked to Get a Lyft Post-Show: A mile. Def closed all my rings.
Rank: 7/10
SIX: The Musical
Pantages - Hollywood
I did not want to see SIX. Mark got me tickets to see it for my birthday because I kept teasing him about how much he’d been talking about it since it. Plus he said “I thought you might enjoy it because I very rarely enjoy something so much.” When someone with high taste like Mark says something like that, you trust.
So, I went. And oh god. I am a SIX Bitch.
SIX is the story of Henry VIII’s six ex-wives done in the style of a pop rock show. Each of the wives take on styles of modern day popstars and the lyrics are modernized so they talk about Tinder, sexting etc, while still hitting age old classics, like blowjobs. These devices help me pretend to know and understand history, because I really don’t.
I feel like this is what Hamilton was going for but fell very short of (in my opinion!!!). It was funny, sexy and landed the plane. Like a hot pilot.
Plus, it was only 80 minutes and the songs are definitely re-playable outside of the theater. see specifically “Don’t Lose Ur Head” and “All You Wanna Do.” And that’s coming from someone who cringes whenever someone plays anything from a musical because so many of them sound so…musical theater-y. I think I hate it because I wish I could do it, tho. If I could sing or dance, I definitely would be in musicals. But, I can’t, so I do karaoke (and omg I am so good, tbh).
Highlights: During the pause before the encore, a man in the audience yelled “START!” and that is exactly how I feel about encores. We all fucking know what you’re going to do. Don’t be a tease. Just do it. Our backs, they hurt.
Lowlights: The chorus of “Get Down” has the line “I’m the queen of the castle. Get down you dirty rascal.” Then I said to Mark “weird that this show would reference Dave Matthews Band,” and he informed me that was not the origin of that line. That’s how bad I am at history. My oldest reference point is from DMB’s 1996 Crash album.
Oldest I Felt: I never felt old! I was at a musical, baby! That’s where old people go to play!
How Far I Walked to Get a Lyft Post-Show: We walked a mile to a bar. We were on that SIX energy.
Rank: 10/10
SIX: The Musical
Lena Horne Theatre on Broadway (Big Apple 🍎) (New York City) (Walkin’ Here)
Husband Jake, though being a Theater Guy™, doesn’t like musicals. When I told him I’d been playing the SIX soundtrack daily, his response was “Ew.”
But, we had a trip planned to NYC, and when I was researching what to see on Broadway, I noticed SIX was one of the shows. I snuck it in with a bunch of other options in an email, and Jake very graciously said he’d like to see SIX. Perhaps because I, like Mark, “rarely enjoy something so much.”
The show for all the reasons I listed above was still fantastic to watch, and Husband Jake liked it! A teenage girl was behind us screaming and crying to the lyrics, and honestly, cool! Glad the youth can be moved!
Highlights: I am just so enchanted by NYC. I have been so rarely that I even get excited by the rats (“Wow! Real New York rat!” is something I said unironically). To see a show I loved so much on Broadway was just so dope.
Lowlights: It was a totally different cast, and I will say I enjoyed a few LA players more than the Broadway ones, but was still a stellar show.
Oldest I Felt: Knowing all the words and dancing in my seat. Very “mom’s night out.”
How Far I Walked to Get a Lyft Post-Show: We didn’t walk, but we did take a pedicab to a bar and lolol. We got hosed. I feel like my TikTok sums it up.
No regrets tho. Before I saw the bill (think AirPods money, babe) I was truly having the time of my life. Fun to have wind in your hair, playing music and rollin’ along. Definitely do it, but have someone else pay for it.
Rank: 9/10
Taylor Swift
Levi’s Stadium - Santa Clara
Over the past decade, I’ve become an increasingly bigger Taylor Swift fan, and it really ramped up with the releases of Folklore and Evermore, which are reminiscent of some early 2000’s emo to me. Oh look, we’ve come full circle.
Being able to attend the Eras Tour at all (thanks to Mark and his husband Allen and our friend Levi), felt like I was part of some sort of elite group after the Ticketmaster disaster. Leading up to the concert, I felt too lucky, which is crazy considering millions will get to see her. Still, with all the TikToks, the articles, and constant Swiftie hysteria, it was clear the Eras Tour was an event.
I avoided all TikToks and videos of the concert as much as I could, and I’m really glad I did. All I did to “prepare,” was get an outfit and write the setlist on my phone so I could track it to know when to go to the bathroom.
Taylor fucking delivered. She gave it her all for every minute of that 3.5 hours. It was the opposite of Mariah. She ate. Left no crumbs.
Her backdrops were also amazing. I appreciated that she considered how many people in these stadium shows wouldn’t be able to really see her, so she made the sets engaging so we weren’t just looking at a screen that was zoomed in on her face. We got Broadway-level construction for every era, giving us unending stimuli throughout every minute of the show.
I should clarify one thing about my fan status: I am a Swiftie that thinks Taylor is definitely flawed. By that definition, I don’t know if I’m even a Swiftie at all. I think Taylor is a great songwriter, but wildly obvious and uncool. For example, during her performance of “The Man,” which is a song that muses about how she might have been more revered if she was a man in society, opened with her saying to the crowd “All this applause…you guys are making me feel so…powerful. So…strong. Like….a man!?!?!?!?!??!?” Uproarious applause.
She then donned a large blazer and ordered ordered her dancers around, put her feet up on a desk. You know. Just manly stuff. It’s so devoid of nuance that it’s very funny, but I didn’t come for the nuance. I came to see how she could pull this off: 3.5 hours of more than a decade’s worth of music. She did it with no chill or modesty, but at the end of the day, she doesn’t have to.
Highlights: The camaraderie at these is unreal. Everyone is abuzz with excitement. You literally trade friendship bracelets with strangers. Taylor really can unite the masses. She’s proving it now by uniting NFL fans with women who wrote Twilight fan fiction. Her tour generated $5 billion in Americans’ consumer spending. It’s pretty wild that Taylor Swift has done a lot more for America than many recent politicians have.
Lowlights: I’m not sure if the length of the show ultimately paid off. Taylor sometimes does this thing where she gets older but never wiser where she is so concerned with proving a point that she actually compromises her artistry (See: Look What You Made Me Do). The length of this show was another example of this. Also, she frequently made this “who? me?!” gesture during standing ovations that was so false modesty turned self-aggrandizing. Yes, babe. You. It’s always been you. You know that.
The Oldest I Felt: I will say, 3.5 hours is too long. Sure, very impressive, but 2.5 hours in, I felt my back write its congressman. I never ending up having to go to the bathroom during the show, but I considered going anyway just to make sure my legs still worked and hadn’t permanently locked. Though the etiquette was to stand for every song, after two hours, Mark and I took many sitting breaks to hydrate and question if she really needed to do another hour. But hey, she did. And honestly, it was phenomenal.
How Far I Walked to Get a Lyft Post-Show: Buckle up, babe.
Our hotel was 2 miles from the venue. When we got out of the show, the metro back to the hotel was packed with thousands of people squeezing into it for dear life. The streets were lined bumper to bumper with cars leaving the show. We couldn’t get a Lyft or an Uber to come for us, so we just decided to walk.
The Google maps walking directions took us to a dead end, proving that Google is not a Swiftie. There at that—very terrifying, I might add—dead end, we met four other Swifties who got sent to the dead end, too. One of these Swifties was, like, a rocket scientist I guess, (could read a map) so she led us back to our hotel. After climbing several hills, walking on some road shoulders, crossing a bridge and running away from a racoon, we made it. All together, this was about three miles total. Thank you Taylor Swift for my life, and the friends I made along the way.
Rank: 10/10
The day this comes out, I’m seeing the Eras Tour in theaters. Theaters that have very nice recliners.
Arlo Parks
L’Olympia - Paris (France) (Oui) (🥖)
Arlo Parks’ album My Soft Machine has been one of my most played albums this year after hearing her on Talk Easy. When Jake and I went to Europe, we really wanted to see a concert there because, tbh, it’d be way cheaper than seeing it in the States because of our wildly loose laws on ticket reselling. Another thing that Taylor solved really brought to the forefront in our country!!
Arlo performed beautifully and was truly so wonderful to see. She played pretty much all of My Soft Machine, and spoke in the most dreamy French between songs. I bet she was saying real cool, inspirational stuff.
Highlights: The venue was one of those perfect spots where every seat is great. We had balcony seats, but it still felt intimate.
Lowlights: See “oldest.” ⬇️
How Far I Walked to Get a Lyft Post-Show: Europe isn’t super down with Lyfts, so we walked about 3 blocks to. the metro. Very manageable but hellish because of…see “oldest.” ⬇️
Oldest I felt: About 30 minutes into the show, I realized I was coming down with something unfortunate. You know when you’re in that bodily purgatory of “Something is happening and it’s going to have to come out somehow….” while sweating profusely? That started happening. I made a lot of concessions, thinking if I could just make it to my favorite song, perhaps I could prove how strong my willpower was. But I started imagining all of these scenarios where something my body did would ban me from not only the venue, but France at large, preventing my children from seeing the Eiffel Tower or tasting really good macarons.
I made it 30 more minutes before telling Jake we had to leave. We exited as my favorite song played. I made it home without incident, but what a close call. I am still allowed in France as far as I know.
Rank: 9/10
