Top 2023 Lists of All-Time
Everyone else is making lists, so why can't I?
There’s something in me that creates order in chaos by ranking or scheduling. So, since I officially “booked out” all of my trips in my first six months of 2024, it’s onto ranking. Insert the clip of Nathan Fielder saying “In reality, I’m actually very fun, relaxed and easygoing.”
In terms of year-end lists, I almost never do those. If you read about my reaction to Avatar, you know I have an erratic relationship with movies. And in terms of albums, I love discovering new music, but never manage to clock if it’s from this year or not unless it’s an artist I follow closely. This year, though, had a few notable bangers, so you’ll be graced with knowing my top 3 movies and albums from 2023. The harder the year, the more lists there are, babe.
Without further adieu, here are this year’s lists.
Best Songs of All-Time (No order) (Too hard) (Depends on mood)
All Night - Beyoncé
This track is what wiping away tears sounds like. Lemonade is one of the best albums of all time, and this song as a coda? Amazing. I know Formation is technically the last track, but this song is spiritually the last one. The laying out of Jay-Z’s sins on the prior tracks, then just when we were ready to collectively dump him, she lays this track on us and we all forgave him, too?! Pure art.
The Chain - Fleetwood Mac
The chills start at the beginning and just build the whole time. A devastatingly perfect breakup song.
Super Bass - Nicki Minaj
Nicki’s personality has not aged well, but you know what has? This song. The ultimate crush song that gives love a fresh metaphor, with respect to sensitive coke dealers everywhere. In current events, I am sorry to report that Pink Friday II is a flop, but Pink Friday (The First) will always hold a special place in my heart.
This Must Be the Place - Talking Heads
So hard to narrow this down to one Talking Heads song, but I just rewatched Stop Making Sense, and this lil hypnotizer is perfect. I would also argue this is a perfect crush song.
Night Moves - Bob Seger
I don’t think you can be from a small town and not have a moment of silence whenever this song comes on? We were such a Seger family. My dad is a person who has a favorite song of all-time, which is a level of order I can’t commit to. His favorite song ever is Seger’s Hollywood Nights. Pass the Miller Lite, babe. I’m gettin’ misty.
Strong Enough - Sheryl Crow
This song is the more poetic version of I’m a bitch, I’m a lover. I knew Jake was a keeper when he knew all the words to this, and we sang it together just like my mom and I used to back in ‘94.
Alex Chilton - The Replacements
Any moment The Replacements are playing is a blessing. It immediately evokes a vibe of “fun easy day in middle class neighborhood,” which is one of my favorite vibes.
Vienna - Billy Joel
Yes, I first heard this after buying the 13 Going on 30 soundtrack, but at 14, I didn’t get it, so I would skip it so I could listen to Why Can’t I by Liz Phair 100 times because she said “fuck.” I’ll be honest, I’m still not sure if I get Vienna (we can talk it over when it comes on at a bar), but it’s so soaked in emotion that it fucking hits, and it hits harder the older I get.
Miss You Much - Janet Jackson
Every note of this song is exciting. Every part is danceable. It’s incredible.
Closer - The Chainsmokers
IF IT’S SO BAD WHY DOES IT CRUSH EVERY TIME I PLAY IT AT A PARTY?! RIDDLE ME FUCKING THAT.
Best Albums of 2023
1. USA - Petey
Best song: Family of Six
If you aren’t listening to Petey yet, please start. He is a millennial poet. And I mean that because his genre is millennial references that make you laugh one second and cry the next. Petey is a great TikToker, yes, but he’s a better musician, I promise you.
2. GUTS - Olivia Rodrigo
Best song: get him back!
I liked SOUR, but honestly, I think I just really liked 4 songs. I liked Olivia’s whole vibe, but was waiting for something punchier. GUTS delivered that. This album is Gen-Z (and by that, I mean universal youth experience) lyrics with a Gen X sound. It’s emotional with an edgy backing track done to perfection.
3. My Soft Machine - Arlo Parks
Best song: Devotion
This album is so dreamy in a way I haven’t heard dreamy before. I’ve talked about Arlo many times in this short Substack’s life, most notably about how I almost threw up during her concert. If you love dream pop with a bit of an edge, you’ll love this.
Honorable mention: The Age of Pleasure - Janelle Monae
Best Movies of 2023
1. Barbie
A lot of analysis surrounded this movie, and it doesn’t need that. Like the movie directly tells you: just feel. It’s a dazzling pink landscape with funny quips, sexy people and a solid message. Just relax and have fun, Oppenheimer.
2. Air
Babe, I cannot stop thinking about this goofy lil shoe movie. Such a great underdog story with fantastic performances from top to bottom.
3. Theater Camp
An effortlessly funny and self-aware look at theater culture clearly inspired by Wet Hot American Summer. What else do you need?
Honorable mention: M3GAN