Christmas in the Spotlight: Or How Taylor Swift Sounds to Non-Fans
I get why people hate Taylor Swift when I watch this movie
I like Taylor Swift. I went to the Eras Tour. And though I really have 0 feelings about Travis Kelce, I am happy she does. I didn’t need a movie about Totally Not Taylor Swift falling in love with Totally Not Travis Kelce because I think we’ve been given a literal play by play of how this came to be thanks to his podcast. On a sidenote: it is very funny Taylor Swift is dating a podcaster. Like yes, he plays football. But he also has to read Bombas ads?!
THE PLOT: Bowyn Sykes—a real ‘hit the keyboard and see what happens’ name—is a famous popstar who has been on top of the world since she won the popular “American Songbird” contest. But: her dad is dead :( and her only friend is her publicist (a nod to Taylor’s fiercely loyal Tree Paine), who sets her up with Drew 'Gonzo' Gonville, a football player for the “Bombers.” Like Jason and Travis Kelce, Gonzo’s brother is also a famous football player, but he’s mean to Gonzo :( and makes him feel like he will never find love. Despite these odds, they make it work and kiss twice!
THE REASON: IDK man. I know all the Taylor Swift lore and fun facts, so thought this would be fun? Sometimes I’m wrong?
BEST DIALOGUE:
“This is my uncle. He gets hit in the head for a living.”
— Gonzo’s niece really coming for the NFL.
“Like I would ever have a chance with her! I’m just a dumb goof!”
— Gonzo talking about Bowyn
"BEST” PARTS: Because of the name Bowyn, her fans are called “arrows,” and her tour is called The Arrows Tour, which is famously what my friend’s dad called The Eras Tour for quite some time. That was a great Easter egg for me and him.
The songs Bowyn sings are terrible. It truly reminded me of those TikToks that are like “This is what Taylor Swift sounds like to people who don’t like her.”
Here’s one of Bowyn’s Christmas songs, which are famously some of Taylor’s worst. I believe this one was called “Lovin’ You With a Bow on Top.”
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And yeah, there are a ton of little drops for Swifties, but they are so shoehorned in that it’s silly:
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“IT WASN’T IN THE BUDGET” MOMENTS: All of the background music was weirdly similar to “Cry Me a River” by Justin Timberlake. It would not surprise me if given his recent social decline and arrest, he is trying to make some extra money by licensing out to Hallmark films.
The NFL and teams are never mentioned by name. In fact, when they reference the Super Bowl, they call it “The Big Game.” And Bowyn really wants to play The Big Game. Bowyn wants to play in The Big Game halftime show so much that Gonzo thinks she’s only with him for The Big Game. Coincidentally, this is also what I call the Super Bowl.
FUN FACTS: This is not the Hallmark/Lifetime Christmas movie based on Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce that Donna Kelce is in.
WOULD I REWATCH THIS? Not even if it got me to The Big Game.
It’s officially December! Which one of these bad boys should I watch next?!
Want to make my Christmas dreams come true? Why not become a paid subscriber?! Right now I’m offering a deal that’s all the Arrows are loving!